I Heart American: Video Game Injuries

Posted: February 7th, 2010 | Author: Zim | Filed under: Not News, Video Games | No Comments »

Wiiiiiiiiiiii.

• Seriously, as a nation I think we’re doomed, as a softer generation suffers from video game injuries…
• Really?  The Wii fitness step pad is causing bodily harm???  It’s like 2-inches tall!!!
• It’s official, I don’t think I want or need a Wiiiiiiiiiii.

by Mike Zimmer, Has a Playstation 2 that is not played very often.

My Sunday reading led me to this: (http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/wii-injuries-on-the-increase-says-medical-journal/1388232) an article about video game injuries being on the rise.  No, Really.

I sincerely think that as a society we are doomed and will not survive tougher times or the coming Zombie Apocalypse of 2012 when we cannot even survive or manage to not get hurt by…video games.  As a nation of fat, doughy, big brained people, we’re going to be easy pickins’ for those zombies.  Especially if we hurt ourselves falling 2-inches off the Wii fitness pad and breaking or spraining an ankle.  Or God forbid, we get a Nintendo-induced thumb blister from playing too long.

Wasn’t that the worst?  The old Nintendo control pad for games like Mario or in my case Super Techmo Bowl, used to absolutely tear up your thumbs in all sorts of ways.  Whether it was the blister on the left pad for directions or the carpal tunnel for the button striking right thumb.

But really, when you’re 13-years old, and that’s the worst you have to deal with, seriously, you can get over it.  But breaking a limb playing a video game?  What the hell is that all about?

I broke my arm once…playing football…outdoors…against live people…it hurt…but I got over it.  But people are now hurting themselves by playing Wii???  Playing “real games” in a fake atmosphere against a computer and still are getting hurt???  What the hell is that?

Big B has a Wii down in Flori-duh.  It is not one of the things being considered however when it comes to where to re-locate the Worldwide HQ of the Publishing Department of Kegerator Nation.  I’ve enjoyed playing Wii with Big B, but really, to me, it’s not that big a deal.  It quickly loses it’s appeal for me for some reason.

Sure, is Wii Bowling the shit?  Yes.  Would I rather actually go to a bowling alley and go bowling instead?  Absolutely.  Wii Darts isn’t very good.  I’d rather throw the real thing instead of maybe accidentally hurling the controller at the TV because I forgot the strap.  And Wii golf?  Well, I thought I was a horrible golfer in person, but I’m even that much more horrid in computer land.  I’d rather actually go to the course.

Thus, I don’t think I’ll be buying a Wii for myself.  That is unless they can make a competent game for things I can’t do anymore, like perhaps pitch in the Major Leagues or throw Touch Down passes in the Super Bowl.  If Wii were to come up with good versions of being able to do these things, then maybe, just maybe, I’d be willing to subject myself to an asinine injury induced from a video game.

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