CBB: The Basketball Nexus, Evan Turner be thy name

Do you hear the music too?  Oh, yeah…there it is…ahhhhh yeah.  I still prefer Evan Almighty though for a nickname there Mr. Maneo. (artwork by JW)

• The Basketball Nexus…explained…
• Ohio State breezes into the Sweet 16, riding the coat tails of the Super Man of Buckeye Nation…downs Georgia Tech…leaps tall buildings with a single bound…
• Evan Turner, according to JW is in elite company.

by Invictus Maneo
art by JW
edited by Mike Zimmer 

Relentless pursuer, physical rebounder, eagle eye court vision, blazing speed and footwork.  You could be confused if you thought a Superhero was being described but you know we’re talking Evan Almighty here.  On top of these attributes, he plays well with others and is one damn fine citizen.

Evan Turner may be the finest college basketball player out there, but don’t discount the fact that Turner is this years’ Basketball Nexus.  Each new basketball season produces what is called the “Basketball Nexus.”  Consider it like a “Vergence in the Force” from the worst Star Wars movie ever.  The Basketball Nexus is, again poorly paraphrased, centered around one individual.  There are many players who are skilled and raise to the top of their ranks, but there is always one ends up standing out like dog turd on a white Beemer’s hood.  Evan Turner is that stinky nugget, er Nexus.

The Nexus does not develop based solely on personal skill of the player it envelopes, though Turner’s is storied.  It helps to have a truly gifted player, as that is the primary ingredient but not the only.  Other ingredients can include a cohesive starting unit that plays to each other’s strengths, a coach who supports your every decision on the court, and meeting opposing teams at the “right time,” and good old fashioned Chinese Luck (as in “if we don’t have it, we will manufacture it”). Read the rest of this entry »

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JW: Buckeye cagers Center to enter Swatters Anonymous and Diebler doubter’s shame spiral

Dallas Lauderdale doing his best Durga, the Hindu diety impression during the Buckeyes destruction of UCSB in the first round.

• Dallas Lauderdale and the Buckeyes roll into the Second Round today with some momentum and some “tactical swat”…
• Invictus Maneo espouses about Mr. Multi-City and Mr. Double 3…
• Diebler not just breaking Buckeye, Big Ten marks, but getting to un-sung legend territory for his propensity for the Trey.

by Invictus Maneo
edited by Mike Zimmer

SWATTER’S ANONYMOUS

There are many out there in Buckeye Fan Geekdom, myself included, who have bemoaned at times the way Dallas Lauderdale phones in his game.  I think Dallas is a talented guy who is showing growth, but being a Buckeye Fan means expecting (quite unrealistically of course) bigger, BETTER, NOW! 

It has been nice to see Lauderdale find some dominance during the Big Ten Tournament run as well as Ohio State’s first round game against the UC Santa Barbara Gauchos. Lauderdale may have only scored four points, but his 8 (!) blocks and 12 rebounds were dominant.  Much as King Kong atop the Empire State, Blocktopus altered the trajectory of every shot let loose within 10 feet of the basket.  Against the Gauchos Count Blockula and Jon Diebler were the primary reasons that the Bucks were able to grow a lead despite an off night by Evan Almighty.

Excelsior Dallas Lauderdale!

DIEBLER CLAIMS ALL TIME 3 SHOOTING TITLE Read the rest of this entry »

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CBB: The Buckeyes got hosed in the NCAA tourney brackets, could still challenge for a title none the less

“Awesome job winning the Big Ten tourney, being one of the hottest teams in the country and ranked in the Top 5.  Too bad the NCAA is going to totally fuck us with seeding us their #8 team and in the toughest bracket.”

• I’ve finally stopped fuming about the Buckeyes basically getting fucked by the NCAA with their seeding in the bracket of death and basically dismissed at their over-all #8 seed…
• Despite the ridiculous Mid-West bracket, the Buckeyes could still make a title run and pull off a stunning run to the Final Four…
• Getting an upset or two in their own bracket may not hurt.

by Mike Zimmer, Buckeye

Why do the NCAA bastards hate Ohio State?  Seriously, the powers that be fucked the Buckeyes and a handful of other teams by packing them together into one tough MF-er of a bracket and thinning out the crap in the other 3.

Sunday as they announced the brackets, the Mid-West first, it was astonishing to see so many good and talented teams pop out of the bingo machine.  Included in that was the Buckeyes being grouped with Kansas, fellow Big Ten team Michigan State, ACC co-champ Maryland, Big East comer Georgetown and SEC Power Tennessee.  It was amazing, considering the West and South brackets then were so damn poorly constructed.

Essentially, the NCAA thumbed their nose at the Buckeyes in essence making them their #8 over-all seed and packing them in with perhaps the most competitive group.  Former champ Kansas also got some dis-respect considering they should be the #1 over-all, but instead got the toughest road ahead of them if the next few seeds get to the Sweet 16 round. Read the rest of this entry »

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CBB: Suck It Wolverweenies!!! Evan Almighty sinks scUM with 3-pointer at buzzer

Evan Almighty Turner knocks down a trey to sink the blue and yellow 69-68.

• Buckeyes play down to competition, squeak out winner, winner, chicken dinner over Wolverweenies…
• Evan Turner saves Ohio State from early exit from Big Ten tourney, probably ensures #1 seeding…
• Gargamel nearly screwed the pooch in this one, as Buckeyes slog through game, get out coached late.

by Mike Zimmer, Buckeye

FRICKERS VANDALIA,OH–The whole place errupted to the sounds of Buckeye fan joy and another jab to the eye of those hated blue and yellow bastards from that state up north.  That it was Meatchicken the Buckeyes beat with a buzzer beater, after having slogged through a sloppy and inconsistent game against a lesser foe, made it all that much sweeter as Evan Turner drained one from between half court and the 3-point line for the buzzer beating winner.

Ohio State was, well, Ohio State in their 69-68 win over Meatchicken.  Playing down to their competition, playing in spurts and stops, sometimes looking on the edge of erupting and taking over the game, looking on the edge of falling off the cliff at the same time just moments later.  Worse, Gargamel (aka Thad Matta) was almost out-foxed by John Beline late and it could have cost the Buckeyes the game and perhaps a #1 seed in the NCAA tourney.

Gargamel drew up a play and the Buckeyes scored too quick with a runner in the lane when they could have and should have milked the clock down to only a scant second or two left.  Instead, the Buckeye tied the score with 9.9 seconds left opening the door for Meatchicken. Read the rest of this entry »

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Suck it Sparty!!! Ohio State gets past fading MSU 74-67, Big Ten title hopes still on

OSU’s David Lighty makes a Sparty player eat leather.

• Ohio State wins in East Lansing, sends suddenly reeling Sparty fans home crying…
• Even with the flu, and not playing his best, the Buckeyes Evan “Almighty” Turner can still beat you…
• Buckeyes rolling along nicely at the right time???

by Mike Zimmer, Buckeye

Despite their typical fits and starts and a rather cool beginning to their shooting on Sunday, Ohio State still managed to fend off the suddenly reeling Michigan State Spartans with a 74-67 win.  The Buckeyes did their thing, shooting, shooting some more and occasionally absorbing and getting past cold streaks to take control of a game (http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/recap?gid=201002210358&prov=ap) 

Such was the case in the first half when guys like John Diebler couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn and Evan Turner looked sluggish and wasn’t all that effective.  I went to have brunch with the family while the game was at 12-8 Sparty only to return and see that the Buckeyes had warmed and gone on something like a 10-0 run.

Diebler?  Well, suddenly he was popping 3′s like Michael Jackson used to pop pills.  What?  Too soon???

Read the rest of this entry »

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CBB: Gargamel vs. Huggy Bear, who ya got?

 
Thad Matta’s Buckeyes head to Morgantown to take on Bob Huggins Mountaineers on Saturday.

• #21–Ohio State takes on #11-West Virginia on the road, big test for Buckeyes and Big T(elev)en vs. a Big East hopeful…
• Matta vs. Huggins is an interesting match-up of guys who scheme well but have teams that don’t improvise well when that goes to hell…
• JW…wrap this shiz up for us come next week won’tcha???

by Mike Zimmer, Buckeye

No one commented on the picture of Thad Matta/Gargamel this past week and I am not the only one that is disappointed.  Somewhere, Invictus Maneo is toiling in a dark basement over his computer, brooding and shaking his fist at the air as he thinks about his artwork being ignored.  Heck, he wasn’t even sure that it actually made the site…it did…it was just missed that’s all. 

Come on people, Thad Matta does look like Gargamel.  And, Bob Huggins looks like Huggy Bear, like the pimp he is.  Today at 2pm, they collide as Ohio State travels across the river into West By God to take on WVU in Morgantown. Read the rest of this entry »

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CBB: Buckeyes cagers, Evan Almighty dump Mildcats by 20

Evan Turner dropped 20-points and 13-rebounds on Northworstern last night to lead the #21 Buckeyes past their Big T(elev)en foes.

• Evan Almighty might have well just done this all on his own, adding the winning margin in points for the Buckeyes over Northworstern…
• JW right about Buckeye stretch run???
• Buckeyes hitting on all cylinders now, will get big test in Morgantown against WVU this weekend.

by Mike Zimmer, Buckeye

So much for that being a “big game” for the Buckeyes.  Ohio State thumped Northworstern last night 76-56 and it was never really close.  http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/recap?gid=201001190443

Evan Turner dropped 20-points and double digit rebounds on the Mildcats and looks like he’s more or less completely fine despite the fact that he broke a couple of bones in his back not all that long ago.  Either he’s a quick healer or the kid is playing through some discomfort and still rocking people.

The Buckeyes will need Turner to stay hot and the rest of the team to chime in big too as they approach their stretch run, something JW already informed you about. Read the rest of this entry »

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CBB: Buckeyes starting their run? JW seems to think so.

 
Evan “Almighty” Turner leads the Buckeye up against the Northworstern Mildcats tonight at Value City Arena in Columbus.

• Buckeyes set to make their big move in the Big T(elev)en starting tonight with date with Mildcats???
• What are your thoughts about the Buckeye Cagers??? 
• Feedback from you the viewer/reader is important to our site!  Comment freely!!! 

by John W. Hoyt

The Buckeye Men’s Basketball Team sits right now at (13-5) on the year and could just now be getting warmed up.  The start to the Big Ten regular season was rough with Evan Turner missing the first 3 games due to a fractured spine.  Their record now stands at (3-3) in the Big Ten despite those missed game though. 

Up next is a home match against a very tough Northwestern (yes, they beat Purdue too) on Tuesday night at 7pm.  After that it is Cream Cake City for the next eight games excepting a visit to Morgantown, WV to play the best that Bob Huggins can buy (warning:  impending loss here). 

My money says that the Bucko’s will finish the Big Ten regular at 22 wins and 9 losses.  I hope they do better, and there are many chances for improvement here with the eb and flow of the last 2+ months.  If they can go (9-4) over their final stretch, a call to the Big Tournament Thingy in March will be inevitable.  Dollars to donuts says we get sent to some far off region while North Carolina and Duke get to play in their parents’ back yard.

What do you think?  Log on in and let us know how you think the Bucko’s will finish the regular season!

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The Scarlett Letter: Invictus Maneo has spoken

Is it just me…… or were Thad Matta and Gargamel from the Smurfs separated at birth? (And yes, Papa Smurf has been writing up the plays with Brainy’s help.  Isn’t that Smurfy?)

by John W. Hoyt
edit by Mike Zimmer
photo by Invictus Maneo

FUCKING ROCKS:           

1.)  “Direct From Brooklyn”
Video compilation of They Might Be Giants.  Fuck, if you can make better videos  for $5,000 then do so lazy ass!

2.)  The return of “Burn Notice” on USA Network
If you haven’t caught this show about a spy shut out by the Guv with nothing to his name but vengeance then you should go back to your hand cream and keep cruising “those” websites.

3.)  “Cat’s Cradle” by Kurt Vonnegut
Simply one of the greatest books ever written about the end of the world.  The Calypso Singing Prophet of God is just Icing on the cake.  Busy!  Busy!  Busy!

FUCKING SUCKS:

1.)  “Desperate Housewives”
Put these ancient hags out to pasture (or out of their misery, please).

2.)  West Side of Columbus, Ohio Drivers and snow
Add snow, and the worst drivers in the state and you really get to sucking.  Whether driving for miles with their turn signals on, merging onto the freeways at 5 m.p.h., or blocking and stopping traffic because they missed their turn West Siders really justify the road rage they so dearly love.

3.)  Anything by the Black Eyed Peas
You may think I’m wrong, but down deep you know I’m really not.  Five years from now you will be just as ashamed of that music in your collection as I am to admit that I have the first album by No Doubt in mine. (Editors Note: I still like No Doubt’s Tragic Kingdome and still loves me some Gwen Stefani.  What?)

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JW: Sybil State…er…Ohio State Hoopsters unpredictable bunch

Evan Turner returned early from a serious back injury and re-energized the Buckeyes to a win over Indiana Wednesday night.

• Invictus Maneo returns for some serious Buckeye cagers talk…
• Talk about them Bucks…they’ve had a tough run of late including opening the conference season (0-2) out of the gate and struggling on the road…
• Now the Big T(elev)en may have a regular Sybil on their hands.

by John W. Hoyt (aka Invictus Maneo)
edited by Mike Zimmer

Sybil State Wins!

The Big Ten’s very own Sybil, that’s the Ohio State Buckeyes.  Watching the Buckeyes play basketball is true excitement, like dares involving hand guns or wormholes over Norway.  One night Evan Turner is blistering the nets for 40 minutes with his amplifier cranked up to 11 and the next the Muppets are doing an ensemble piece with a very coked up Robin Williams.  One never knows what to expect.

Well, Sybil Ohio State may be, but with Evan Turner’s valiant return last night to the hardwood in Value City Arena (worst arena name EVER!) the Bucks brought their personality with game.  It may have been a sloppy, foul riddled match but it ended with a 79 – 54 victory over the Indiana Whoosiers.  Led by John Diebler’s 21 points (5 of 8 from 3 point land and 3 steals) the Buckeyes jumped out to a comfortable lead early.  With Turner back in the game (even briefly) everyone seemed to get open and contribute.  Driving the basket and kicking it out, taking it to the hole, these Buckeyes especially enjoyed success on the fast break.

The Buckeyes were unbelievably paced in the first half by the ever pesky P.J. Hill (Charlie Hustle) with 9 points.  In the middle of the first half Ohio State went on a 21 to 2  run on the Whoosiers.  William Buford was the beneficiary of many of the fast breaks’ final passes and finished the game with 16 points, 6 rebounds and 3 assists.  “We had some decent intensity on both ends of the floor to start the game,” Coach Thad Matta said after all was said and done. Read the rest of this entry »

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