Now, there’s a lot of pranks you can rack up to youthful indiscretion. But shitting yourself and smearing it on a pool bottom at a Florida resort? Are you freakin’ kidding me? I can’t even come up with a story on this one. But I figured everyone should know about these two fucking morons who smeared shit everywhere. I mean, really???
“I learned from The Master.” Thomas Bjorn with The Striped One. At least she’s hot, most of The Striped One’s were nasty hos.
Credit where credit is due, ‘Lotion’ sent this one along the wire after some late-night surfing…
Seems like Eldrick isn’t the only golfer who knocked up some strange on the side as married Danish golf star Thomas Bjorn sperminated an Australian airline stewardess…
Admittedly, Thomas Bjorn isn’t Ol’ Tigger but the folks in Denmark and Australia need to go nuts about something too.
While this isn’t the size and scope of the scandal that ol’ Eldrick brought after his slew of sloots paraded in front of any media outlet and source they could, apparently this is big news in Perth, Australia and Denmark. Bjorn was a Rider Cup winner and is regarded as one of the biggest Danish sports stars. I have to give him some credit too, after all, this chick isn’t Josslyn James nor any of those other ugly-ass fame whores, she’s actually kinda hot. Sure, sure, she won’t let you take a crap on her chest like Tiger’s chick might have, but not too shabby there Bjorny! Now pay your fucking child support dickweed!!!
Ah, yeah, now that’s sexy. And this has nothing to do with this story.
Turkish man kills father, aunts and shoots others as he celebrated after getting married by shooting AK-47…
I’m thinking this was no accident and that he was somehow knowing he wasn’t getting either the honeymoon he wanted or good wedding presents…
No word on whether the marriage was consummated.
by Mike Zimmer, Cold hearted bastard
You have to respect the silly nature of customs of the world, especially backwater areas. No, really, seriously if you don’t you could get your ass shot. Such was the case when a newly married man shot his AK-47 in celebration, lost control of it and shot most of his wedding party (http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/europe/08/09/turkey.wedding.shooting/index.html)
Now, I’m not looking at this thinking that it was an accident. I’m betting there were other factors in this. Like, say, one of his wedding presents (probably a goat) got loose and got under his feat, making him shoot into his wedding party. Or, this convieniant mishap was masking the fact that he didn’t get the right goat as a gift or knowing the backwater area he probably lived that his wife had a beard.
Which leads me to believe perhaps he did this on purpose. Have you seen some of these ugly hairy women from the Middle East???
Indonesian Civets…eating coffee beans and then shitting them out…for you to drink.
The freakin’ world is out of ideas and so apparently bored that they’ll drink coffee made from the shit of a cat-like animal…
No, Really, how freakin’ horrible is the idea of drinking cat shit coffee???
Has the world gone crazy?!?!?!
by Mike Zimmer, Tea drinker
So, if you put either Baileys or Whiskey into an Irish Coffee, what do you have to put into a cup of coffee that’s made out of cat shit to make it an Indonesian Coffee??? In one of the more disgusting thoughts today (almost completely erasing yesterday’s thoughts of dog rape by a random neighborhood guy), I present you a story about coffee made from the nuts found in the poop of a cat-like creature. Yes, Cat Shit Coffee (http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2010/07/27/2010-07-27_this_coffee_smells_like__30_cup_of_joe_comes_from_felines_feces.html).
Oh, no, Really. It’s made from beans found in the shit of cats and apparently is also the most expensive coffee in the world. But wait, there’s even more!!! Indonesia, where it came from in the first place, almost banned it because they deemed it too nasty and gross. This coming from a country made up of mostly Islamic extremists who wipe their asses with their bare left hands and eat insects.
Mmmmmm a little nutty!
One person brave or stupid enough to taste this coffee for free said simply, “It has a dirty taste to it. It’s heavy. It’s like, ‘Dude you just crapped in my coffee.’”
I encourage story ideas, but this isn’t exactly what I had in mind…
Yes, we live in a sick, sick, sick world where people apparently have sex with dogs…even not so far away from where some of us live…
More, the guys is apparently at large, so lock up your dog.
by Mike Zimmer, Your source for horrible
As always, I am always happy for and often openly encourage any and all suggestions for stories, news or tips to be forwarded to me to be posted to the site. On a day like this however, I am not so glad to have received this in my in-box. I’d like to personally thank the guy we call ‘Lotion’ for passing this along and ruining my day.
What’s worse than this story is, that the guy is apparently still at large and he was seen out before the assault walking his own German Sheppard. Even worse than that? That “Lotion” sent this to me and thought perhaps I’d either find it funny or worth posting. He’s off laughing somewhere while now I have nightmares. Thanks for that.
With caution, I still encourage any and all comers to send me stories, links and ideas. However, I would appreciate no further dog-rape stories.
Enjoy some of Canada’s finest from Elisha Cuthbert to all sorts of other Canuckian Beaver.
‘O’ Canuckia, we like your sexy broads…from Elisha Cuthebert to Tricia Helfer too…’
On Canada Day, we celebrate the few things that make them great. Like…er…Rush and…Labatt’s Blue…and 150-yard long football fields…
Oh, just enjoy the hot chicks.
by Mike Zimmer, Oh, shut up, I’ll post something for the 4th and the good ol’ USA too
A modern day warrior, mean mean stride, today’s Tom Sawyer, mean mean pride. Yep, it’s Canada Day again. I have to say that I actually like Canada and most Canadians. Geddy Lee, Don Cherry, Jim Carey, Rick Nash, John Candy, Katie West, Elisa Cuthbert, Tricia Helfer, Estella Warren…er…The Kids in the Hall…er…yeah. So what if I’ve named half the country.
Actually, I do miss going up the True North strong and free each summer. The ex-wife and I used to head to Ontario and Quebec each summer for vacation. Quebec City is amongst my favorite places on Earth too, along with Charlevoix and the St. Lawrence River path to the Atlantic. I miss maple pie, poutine, and Unibrue, the Canadian micro-brew that makes some of the best beer on the planet including Maudite, my absolute fav.
So, go ahead, hit the jump and enjoy all things from Canada that are worth while. And don’t forget to tell Mikey B to have a Happy Birfday too!
Can we please find these stupid people that design these “mascots” and beat them about the face and head???
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people that would spend mounds of cash to have some “artists” basically just get high and come up with whatever comes to them to be a finished project???
I should be making this kind of cash, then again, my mascot for the London Olympics would be big horses asses with bad teeth.
by Mike Zimmer, hates the summer olympics…no really.
Once again, the world is shown more retarded “art”, this time in the form of the recently unveiled 2012 London “Summer” Olympic Mascots. I say “Summer” mostly because whilst having lived there for a 2-years, there is no such thing as “Summer” in England unless you consider 61-degrees, cloudy, gray and overcast, with a persistent chance of rain and a cool breeze to be “Summer”.
How in the world is it that a guy like me with plenty of great freakin’ ideas has no access to the cash to bring them to fruition? Seriously, how the hell can I get on the inside of one of these cash cow operations to come up with stupid stuff that people don’t want and can’t identify with? How is it that some little dork elitist artist was able to come up with this crap and I’m not? Then again, if I were to summarize a mascot for the Brits and their Olympic games, I’m pretty sure they’d be a pair of horses asses with blue blooded snooty looks to them with bad teeth. Or perhaps big pasty cankles with bad cockney accents.
“Living La Vida Loca” must be slang for, “I dig wang” (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
What is Ricky Martin ready to sell everyone??? Otherwise, why bother to tell us something we’ve kinda known for 10+ years???
Ha! Stick it all you women that wouldn’t listen to me! He was a flamer and was repulsed by you all these years now!!!
Gonna be one of those days.
by Hootie McBoob, Tabloid Journalist
I’m over the whole gay thing with celebs. I simply don’t care one way or another. It’s so…well…2oo4 to come out now. Especially when we knew you were queer as a $3 bill back then (not that there was anything wrong with that…even then!).
So Ricky Martin has come out and said he’s a poofter and is gay. So what? Big deal. The only thing worth mentioning about that is the fact that we can all collectively laugh at all those fat girls who loved Ricky back then and dreamed of him ravaging them as he sang his latin-pop garbage. He was gay and thought you were gross.
Seriously Rick, you bought some babies, then paid for a new set recently and never dated hot women. Uh, we kind of got it. Your music still sucks. Enjoy the beach.
According to Forbes magazine and confirmed by the Kegerator Nation, Cleveland has now reached the level of the most miserable shit hole in the entire United States…
With the city falling down around the citizens, crime and poverty all around and with shitty sports teams to root for, C-Town and the whole of Northeast Ohio is basically America’s sorriest place to have to live…
Face it Browns fans, this is mostly your fault.
by Mike Zimmer, Proud Western Ohio Buckeye
According to Forbes Magazine and an article on Yahoo, Cleveland is the most miserable city in the United States of America. Confirmed, The Kegerator Nation can say that C-Town is the most miserable shit hole in the United States (http://realestate.yahoo.com/promo/americas-most-miserable-cities-2010). While I think Detroit trumps Cleveland as a wasteland of ineptitude in all corners of life mostly because it’s in that shit-hole state up north (and Flint was in the Top 10 too), the fact that the Browns and Tribe both suck currently and no one much cares for Lebron James, the Motor City with the Red Wings and Tigers by the numbers beat out C-town.
You see, this is mostly a regional problem if you want to get down to it. Ohio was significantly represented in the miseray index poll, but it was almost all quarantined to the Northeast of Ohio (and Toledo which is technically Southern Meatchicken). All of Canton, Akron, Youngstown and Toledo were all in Top 20. I blame the total number of Browns fans for this.
Rita Ragone was roughed up in the ass department with pinching and sexual harrassing back in 2007 by ESPN staffers (though it’s not indicated if she saw Sean Salisbury’s penis via him sexting her). She sued them and is apparently going to get paid for her indignation at the fingers and thumbs of the ESPN puds.
The other report is much more interesting. Apparently, a mole that has been talking to another blog site has reported that Bristol and the shut-ins that work up at ESPN is just one big den of pot smoke and incestuous sex orgies of fucking and sucking one another. Read the rest of this entry »
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