NFL First round draft flop and former Raiders QB is arrested in Mobile, Alabama for possession of Codeine syrup??? Really???
Apparently the rumors that Off-the-Marcus-JaMarcus liked “Purple Drank” have been around for a long, long time.
by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan
The plight of former Raiders QB and NFL bust Off-the-Marcus-JaMarcus just keeps getting worse and worse. Now, he’s apparently been arrested in a drug sting in Alabama that included his possessing waaaaaay too much codeine cough syrup and that this apparently isn’t the first time he’s been rumored to having perhaps having a problem. (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/07/05/rumors-about-jamarcus-and-codeine-had-been-around-for-awhile/).
Since being cut by the Raiders this past spring, JaMarcus hasn’t had many feelers for his services either other than a rumor that the New York Jets might take a flyer on him. Uh, but not anymore, not now, not when a little ugly rumor that was going around apparently has come home to roost. Read the rest of this entry »
Some of the hopeful draft picks pose on top of the Radio City Music Hall Marquee advocating the now 3-day debacle that is the NFL draft.
Once considered one of my holiest days in the sports calender, the NFL Draft just isn’t worth talking about when it’s spread out over 3-days…
Why bother with a mock-draft or run-up excitement when it will be a full 3-day minutia spin cycle of incessant talking heads for that many days???
I love the NFL, I like Comish Goodell, but this move, like having the Pro-Bowl in Miami is a poor idea and needs to be a one-year experiment for the league on it’s fans.
by Mike Zimmer, former NFL Draft Guru
Once considered one of my holiest of holy days in the sports calendar, the NFL Draft has lost a lot of meaning to me all of the sudden. I am not in the least excited about the NFL Draft this year. Like too many things, tradition has been thrown aside and like too many things, the league has tried to “improve” it to a point of nausea.
It’s as if someone said, well, Christmas is now on the 23rd and will stretch until the 25th. You’d be a little excited but come on, 3-days is overkill at some point for an exciting event now isn’t it? Jewish people get 12-days of Jewish Christmas but they’re not real over-excited about it are they? I mean, light all those candles, by about day 3, I’d be like…whatever.
Seriously, why bother with doing all the mock-drafts and projection when it won’t be as fun and will simply be re-written after the first elongated day of the draft any ways? Sadly, for Bungles and Clowns fans it’s just an added extra day of torture now as we watch our teams screw up an extra day and IN PRIME TIME TOO!!! Read the rest of this entry »
Clowns brass in “panic mode” according to PFT (www.profootballtalk.com for the uninitiated)…
The fact that that Cleveburg is picking 7th overall is a direct result of that silly, late season “surge” in which they won meaningless games at the end of last season…
Expect the Clowns to muck up their draft, make Raiders-esque reach if they can’t move up or down via a trade.
by Mike Zimmer, Seeking Clowns writer (inquire within)
Oh you silly Clowns fans and your team!!! The panic has started to get to the Clowns of late as the brass there including new team Emperor Mike “Big Show” Holmgren tries to put his stamp on the team and turn the sinking, stinking franchise that is the Cleveland Clowns around.
Rumors have been rampant that the Clowns are desperate to get out of the 7-hole in which they currently sit going into the NFL Draft on Thursday night. Recently the rumor was that they were talking with St. Louis to try and move to #1 but the price was steap and the move more or less unrealistic for them. Now, they’re desperate to move down, but #7 doesn’t sound as sexy as 6, 5, 4, 3 or even #2 now does it? Read the rest of this entry »
Terrance “Mount” Cody, a Defensive Tackle/Nose Guard from Alabama does his best Big Fat Andre HippopattaSmith impression. Mount Cody could go very high in the up coming NFL Draft.
Yeah, I know the paint isn’t dry on the Saints newly minted Super Bowl Champions T-shirts, but it’s time to talk draft!!!
scRams finish awful (1-15) season will pick #1 over all as Detroit misses out on the honor by a pubic hair at (2-14) and a worse, loss to that same St. Louis…
The Clowns finish their awful campaign with 4-straight wins, screwing up their draft position mightily…
Bungles in deep doo-doo, saddled at #21 with teams in front of them and behind them that draft soooooo much better than they do.
by Mike Zimmer, Draft Guru
With the Saints having their parade today and my hangover from the Super Bowl party I went to the other night still in my system, the weary cannot rest for long. It’s time for the NFL Draft speculation to start as the NFL season never sleeps. The Combine will be up-coming and then the long period of scouting, work-outs, interviews, players stocks going up and down like the Dow Jones and teams trying to decide who they’ll over-pay for in the NFL Draft.
While the event in my mind just won’t be the same with the first round staged on a Friday night, it doesn’t lessen my enthusiasm for the over all event that is the silly-season leading up to the NFL Draft and then the actual picking of the players.
It’s never a good time for Bungles fans, but in general, the draft is all sorts of fun and frivolity even without them screwing up pick after pick. Read the rest of this entry »
Gilyard looked like high pick potential with his effort in helping the North squad to a 31-13 win over Tebow and the South. He returned kicks and punts and then had a handful of receptions including a long one for a TD. Gilyard’s stock had to be up tremendously this week despite some concern in practice this week with drops.
Jesus Tebow apparently didn’t fumble this center exchange but then proceeded to throw a slow, wobbly duck incompletion.
Jesus Tebow having a tough week at the Senior Bowl, getting a lot of attention and being considered a possible 2nd rounder any ways…
A slow delivery, a heavy ball, inaccuracy and troubles even with the simplest thing, the Center/QB exchange make for a difficult week for Tebow…
He was sick though…Jesus apparently wanted him to be ill at this important moment…
Tebow also to be in controversial commercial during Subpar Bowl, CBS responds, may allow Gay dating site to advertise too.
by Mike Zimmer, Down with the Jesus too…just not in such a ‘blessed’ way
Surprise, surprise, Tim “Jesus” Tebow is struggling at the NFL’s Senior Bowl. All the common sense issues that even a casual observer of the draft and of good QB play could see this train wreck coming. Poor mechanics, a slow, wind-up delivery, a heavy, inaccurate ball with little zip on it, that pretty much sums up the issue with Tim Tebow’s passing skills when it comes to the NFL. He throws an ugly ball and he throws it inaccurately in the confines of an NFL offense, plain and simple.
Tebow was awfully un-impressive this week and even had trouble with the simplest and most important step in the process of being a QB: the center snap. Tebow fumbled several snaps from center in practice, after all, he did play like 99% of his snaps from the shot-gun in the Gators system. He is a “system” guy no doubt about it. Read the rest of this entry »
I couldn’t have said it any better than this, as Favre heads into the off-season, or as we should call it…’FAVRE WATCH’…
by Mike Zimmer, Cut-n-pastin’
If you don’t already know, I’m a big fan of www.barstoolsports.comand read it religiously even though I’m not a stooly and not from the northeast. However, the shiz over there is always some of the best on the net.
Feb 1 – Get interviewed for Peter King’s MMQB column. Tell him “no decision” has been made, but “Deanna and I are going home to Mississippi” and give it some thought. Fish for compliments by telling King how banged up I am. Be sure to mention that this gets harder every year.
Feb 1-9 – Quality time with family. Also monitor the web for speculation about my future.
Feb 10 – Leak to John Clayton I’m retiring.
Feb 11 – Deny reports about my retirement.
Feb 15 – Formally announce my retirement in teary press conference. Don’t forget to say “I don’t have anything left” and “I gave it everything I had.”
Feb 15-19 - Keep schedule clear to watch “Brett Favre Tribute Week” on ESPN. TiVo same on NFL Net.
March 1– Call Adam Schefter to start “second thoughts” rumors.
March 2 – Deny second thoughts.
March 15 – Dinner with Chilly.
March 16 – Call Minneapolis Star Tribune. Say “This is the best I’ve felt in 10 years.”
March 20 – Call in with “Mike & Mike.” Insist you’re not coming back but if you did you could compete at a high level.
April 22-24 – NFL Draft. Encourage Chilly to draft a QB because you’re done.
April 30-May 3. Skip mini camp.
May 30– Have agent call Zigi Wilf re: new contract.
June 1– Tell Jason LaCanfora “I’m not sure” about coming back.
July 24– Training camp opens. Go fishing in Louisiana.
Aug 24 – Sign record contract.
Aug 25 - Report to Vikings camp. Tell press “I’m here to win.” Say you don’t want the focus to be on you. Cry.
Let’s see, how not to prepare for your fantasy football league draft: start maybe by not being severely hung-over…
Also maybe know something, anything about your foes and tendencies…
Oh and pre-rank your players on-line even if you make fancy notes and crap because they all go to hell once you start.
Welcome to any of those of you that may have wondered over from the Coast-to-Coast football league!!!
by Mike Zimmer, Buckeye Devils
So I’m doing damage assessments on my first fantasy football draft of the year as I watch the show down of Flori-duh schools on the tube. Whilst watching FSU/Cryami, I’m wondering whether I have a shot in hell this year in my new league that is based down in Florida with my great friend Brian and all of his friends including league comish “Patrick”.
For anyone that knows me at all when it comes to fantasy sports, I do try very hard but nearly never have a winner. I have never won the whole shebang in fantasy football anyways though I’ve been competitive and highly skilled in some spots in the past. However, of late, my fantasy football teams have blown ass big time.
Also, no matter how good I wind up doing, I hate the draft. No matter how hard I try, I always feel like my team sucks. In typical fashion and with no exceptions this year, I hate my team. I really, really, really hate my team and am worried about embarrassing myself in my first year in the Coast-to-Coast league. Apparently I’ve also ingraciated myself pretty well too by drafting the league’s Don and Patriarc by drafting his favorite player that he has every year. Yep, I think I’m screwed.
Of course, I also really didn’t do myself any favors in preparing for this draft either. I read all the mags, I dusted up on my knowledge of teams and the players a bit, I researched and planned a little bit but when it came to this morning, all that shit went right out the window. Why, you might ask? Well, I was hungover as a motherfucker and felt like death.
After spending 16-hours drinking up in Columbus whilst at the Ohio State tailgate and then the party all evening after that, I then went out Sunday night and tied one on big time. That included shots of tequila and a belly full of spicy, greasy food and about nineteen 20oz. Budweiser drafts from my favorite Ohio watering hole. I was crapping, puking, sweating, had heart palpitations, had a headache, felt dizzy and generally thought I was going to have not just liver failure but a stroke. That was no way to arrive for a Noon Labor Day on-line draft!
Then the damn thing starts and I had some minor technical difficulties. It then got no better when that was quickly rectified when I found out I was drafting 11th of 12-teams. I hate the wait and I hate the swing unless you’re at the actual end. And it hasn’t failed each of the last few years, I still don’t have a RB that you can hang your hat on because by pick #11, all those dudes are pretty much gone.
In other words, I was off my game early and it snow balled from there.
No, I didn’t pick anyone who was dead or make any outlandish reaches (though I was absconded by the local Bucc fan when I picked RB-Derrick Ward a bit early. Sue me, I had a feeling about the guy!). I don’t think my team is going to go win lessor anything and it’s not like I’m lacking a few good players. I just don’t know whether or not this team is worth a damn in what sounds like a highly competitive league full of veteran players.
I did worry though that during the draft, only one time did I have a guy queued and had someone snatch him right in front of me (I had a hot tip on Bears WR Earl Bennett and shoulda nabbed him sooner). And for the most part, I didn’t think like I had to panic and grab a position or a need just to fill a spot, which I’ve heard from a lot of people means, you’re doing something really right or really, really wrong. Damn it, and I’m a pessimist too.
So, all told I wound up with this team of starters:
QB-Tom Brady (Patriots), RB-Chris Johnson (Titties), RB-Thomas Jones (Jets), WR-TJ Houshmandzadeh (Seabags), WR-Tory Holt (Jags), WR-Dirty SOB Hymes Ward (Stillers), TE-Dallas Clark (Colts), San Diego’s Defense and kicker Ra-ra-ra-Rod Bironas (Titties). The reserves are: QB-Jake Dellhome (Panthers), RB-Chet Taylor (Vikes), RB-Donald Brown (Colts), RB-Derrick Ward (Buccs), and WR-Dev Henderson (Saints).
So how’d I do?
I’m looking forward to my other draft which will be live tomorrow over at the local Hooter’s. That league is made up of many of the regulars to this site and is the Kegerator Nation Football League.
Again, welcome to all those that might have drifted over from the Coast-to-Coast league. This is a website for a big group of friends most of which are from Ohio originally. We are nationwide and International now days though. The site is mostly my musings on sports but I do try to cater to the audience which is full of Buckeyes, Bungles and Reds fans but the content is not limited to those teams. Bookmark us and keep coming back! Register too and feel free to leave comments too! Become part of the ever-growing Kegerator Nation with us!
Big fat Andre is still working out on his own, not under contract as per the usual with the Bungles first round busts.
Bungles cannot honor the tried and true slotting system thus Andre HippopattaSmith remains unsigned…
Katie Blackburn and the Bungles front office don’t care about your slotting system or winning for that matter…
And a look at the lost season(s) of Bungles busts of the past.
by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan
The hold out of big fat Andre HippopattaSmith is now heading to day #23. He is one of only two players yet unsigned from the draft of 2009 with the other being primadonna malcontent diva Michael Crabtree out in San Fran.
As much as I think HippopattaSmith will ultimately show himself as a bust no matter if he had been on time or not, the season is becoming more and more likely a loss for both him and the Bungles, leaving you to wonder what the hell they got for finishing so freakin’ horribly and picking #6 overall last year. And, despite HippopattaSmith duping the Bungles with his tricky fired the agent, rehire the agent trick, I don’t begrudge big fat Andre on this one.
The Bungles are not honoring the slotting system. The two sides are far apart on the rookie deal with Katie Blackburn (Mikey Boy Brown’s lesbo looking daughter who is the President of the team) whining and crying about big fat Andre wanting too “sooooo much money!”. The simple fact of the matter is, that the Bungles are not being reasonable as per the current way of paying out players, especially in the Top 10. Let’s just say the Bungles are in favor of a rookie wage scale in a big way.
They are about $5-$6-million dollars apart on the deal. They have offered big fat Andre $3-million dollars LESS than the #8 overall pick in fact. They aren’t even close to what last year’s #6 Vernon Gohlston got paid when the Jets screwed the pooch and broke the bank.
Where Michael Crabtree is being silly and trying to buck the system the other way by demanding more than the guys picked ahead of him, the Bungles aren’t dealing on the right side of things on the other.
All the while the offensive line is still a work in progress and not all that good. Carson Palmer is going to take some punishment this year, there’s just no way around it. And if injuries hit the team, look out. Even with Andre HippopattaSmith, they’re going to be something of an enigma.
The Bungles brass doesn’t care though. These first round picks are just some random lot that they HAVE to try and pick diamonds from the turds. And usually, they only find nuggets of poop hence their not wanting to pay anymore for their turd than they need to. Seriously, look at this list:
That’s an impressive list of failure for the most part, but more importantly, the names that missed time typically struggled mightily. Other than Justin Smith who had a s0-so career as a Bungles and still is a respectable defensive player, the other top-5 picks that held out a long time were HORRIBLE. Only Willie Smith is a notable name that held out a long time that wound up being very, very good. The rest of the list is a laughable reminder of 19-years of epic failure during the Mikey Boy Brown era (graph and research courtesy of www.whodeyrevolution.com). if nothing else.
I wonder what else the Bungles will give away of Andre’s next after they made a big deal on ‘Hard Knocks’ about giving away his bunk at training camp. What next? No tatter tots when he does arrive?
Goodell apparently isn’t content with allowing one season go by without the NFL being front and center. That part I like. But, come on, do we really need to have my full-day Saturday tradition moved to prime time on a Thursday night? Seriously, it’s like they’re trying to piss off all the wives and girlfriends out there or something. Or they just hate Steve Correll and want to crush ‘The Office’.
Then again, there may be something to this. Most guys Tivo or DVR ‘The Office’ and their other shows and go out that night while the ladies stay home and watch some show about gay people, hospitals, and it being overcast in Seattle on ABC. Perhaps Goodell has envisioned this being a night he can personally shake up bowling, dart, pool and softball leagues next spring in an attempt to completely control American Males social calender. That evil, genius bastard!!!
Personally though, in all honesty, I’m not a fan of this move in the least. I like the draft the way it currently is. I would have even been in favor of a Friday night big shindig, but Goodell knows that’s not a good ratings night and has decided head butt the networks instead. Because, seriously, that’ll be a rating bonanza for the NFLN and ESPN which is all about big cash for America’s game.
However, I like my traditional Saturday at Noon all-day draft extravaganza. It’s a day I’m completely willing to freely give away and use to watch wall-to-wall NFL draft coverage and blog about it. Now, well, it’ll be all anti-climatic and will slowly slip into something not that big a deal.
The upside to this is though is, for Bungles. Lions and Clowns fans, this will the first time we’ll be seeing our teams do their stuff in prime-time on a regular basis!!! I mean, seriously with the draft starting at 8pm, we’ll be able to still watch ‘The Office’ without missing a single lead-in or anything because those teams are always picking early.
However, again, I’m against this. The NFL isn’t the NBA, why do this? This isn’t prime time viewing (the NBA’s wasn’t even on this year was it?) and is a football and draft nerds domain and belongs on Saturday afternoon. What the hell next? Ping pong balls and weighting the draft in some kind of ludacris “lottery”? Where does it end? I know where it ends, wherever the hell Roger Goodell wants it to, that’s where.
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