Breaking News/NFL: Seabags to dump T.J. Houshmandzadeh, could the hardest working man in football be back in Bengal stripes soon???

• Amazingly the Seattle Seabags are set to either trade or dump T.J. Houshmadzadeh, eating a big portion of his salary in the process…
• Could it be, could it really happen that the hardest working man in football could possibly be on the radar of the Bungles, bringing him back to the ‘Nati???
• If Ocho Stinko has anything to do with it, he’ll be lobbying for Housh to come back and join the party–helping the passing game.

by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan

Is it possible?  Could the Bungles right a wrong and get the hardest working man in football back in Cincinnati, un-doing one of the worst decisions in franchise history?  Apparently, T.J., under-used, mis-used and not able to get on track in Seattle, could amazingly be cut by the Seabags as Pete Carroll re-tools the team into a younger, much worse off franchise than he’s inheriting. The team is seriously trying to either trade Houshmandzadeh or will release him by Labor day when rosters must be down to 53 (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/09/03/tj-houshmandzadeh-wont-be-back-with-the-seahawks/)

In the process, the team will be eating a good portion of his salary one way or another, something that you’d think would be to Mikey Boy Brown’s fucking liking, getting a bargain no matter the consequence it might have on the locker room.  While Houshmandzadeh is a guy who is un-apologetically in your face, out-spoken and intense, he is still one of the best receivers in the league.  You don’t go from catching 113-passes and being a staple of the Bungles once vaunted passing game and then suddenly lose the ability to play.

For what it’s worth, the Bungles resident diva and multi-media wunderkind, Ocho Stinko will be lobbying hard for the team to re-sign T.J. (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/09/03/ochocinco-will-be-lobbying-heavy-for-houshmandzadeh/) after they allowed him to walk away in free agency and didn’t receive any compensation for him by NOT franchising him and instead keeping horrible kicker Shane Graham as their “franchise” player in 2008.

If the Bungles have any God damned sense in the world, they’ll snatch up Houshmandzadeh and re-right a wrong that has wrecked their passing game.  In Housh’s absence, the team has never been able to find the right combination of possession receiver, chain mover and secret weapon that T.J. always was.  Do the right fucking thing Mikey Boy Brown, sign T.J.!!!

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/09/03/ochocinco-will-be-lobbying-heavy-for-houshmandzadeh/

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NFL: Bungles bounce well respected, tough, Jeanty, don’t give him much credit on the way out the door

• Rashad Jeanty gets quiet exit from Bungles Line-Backing corp…
• Regarded as being tough as nails, Jeanty mentored both Keith Rivers and Rey Maualuga…
• Fuck Mikey Boy Brown.

by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan

Kind of lost in the shuffle during this training camp for the Cincinnati Bungles that has featured the debut of problem children Terrelle Owens and Pac Man Jones and then completely buried by the fact that the Bungles gave Antonio Bryant nearly $8-million bucks to practice with the team ONE time was a tough battle going on at Line Backer.

Lost too was the fact that the Bungles numbers game was probably going to see one of their big names take a significant role reduction or get bounced.  It wound up being Rashad Jeanty, a guy the Bungles pulled off the scrap head a few years back from the CFL and wound up finding a diamond in the rough.

Speaking of rough, Jeanty was just about as tough as they come, hitting hard, playing hurt and being a quiet, up-standing citizen and mentor to the Bungles young bucks on defense.  In particular, Jeanty took up the cause of helping shape Keith Rivers and Rey Maualuga while also being rather productive in 4-seasons with the team.  His reward this training camp while battling injuries and the numbers game?  An early release from the team that was kept rather quiet (http://www.whodeyrevolution.com/whodeyrevolution/2010/08/rashad-jeanty-this-one-actually-hurts.html) Read the rest of this entry »

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Chris “Meatchicken Fucker/Fumbling Princess” Perry can’t even cut it in the UFL, cut by Sacramento team named after trees

 
Perry seen here whilst part of the Bungles being tackled by the official.

• Former bust Chris “The fumbling princess” Perry can’t even cut it in the UFL, released by a team formerly named after trees…
• Yet another look at the horrible career and awful choice of the Bungles of that Meatchicken Bastard…
• Steven Fucking Jackson!!!  We could have had Steven Fucking Jackson but Mikey Boy Brown picked Perry!!!

by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan

God, it still chaps my ass.  The Bungles were on the clock and had the chance to pick Oregon State’s Steven Jackson, quite arguably one of the more dependable and productive running backs in the league the last 6-seasons.  But oh, no, they had to go and trade that pick and drop down, all so they could pick that little fucking prick from Meatchicken, Chris “Fumbling Princess” Perry.

Perry flamed out in short order in the NFL while Jackson has managed to be awesome even on horrible St. Louis teams.  Perry?  Well, he got bounced after only 600-yards total during 3-seasons, resurfacing last season in the fledgling UFL.  But now, he’s not even cut out to make it in that league.  Perry was cut today by the team that was called the ‘Redwoods’ last year out in Sacramento (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/08/31/rock-bottom-for-chris-perry-too/).

That’s right, Perry can’t cut it in the UFL but Mo Clarett, a guy who hasn’t played a down of football in like 3-seasons can.  Fucking Chris Perry!  And the Bungles could have had Steven Fucking Jackson!!!  Fuck you Mikey Boy Brown.

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NFL: Antonio Bryant earns a cool $7-million plus for one practice with the Bungles before they cut him after his lolly-gagging in rehabbing an injury, uselessness

Ho-Hum, collect $7-million dollars for doing absolutely nothing.

• Mikey Boy Brown just throws away $7-million plus bucks on Antonio Bryant as the Bungles cut him after just one practice with the team and guaranteed money up front…
• Bungles keep on bungling, make genius move with a player that has basically proven his uselessness over and over again, reach new low with the release of Bryant…
• With one less diva WR on the roster, now what is the pecking order for Palmer to throw to and those that make the roster?

by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan

It is amazing how stupefyingly horrible the Cincinnati Bungles front office is.  It has never been more evident than this whole saga with the marquee free-agent the team signed this off-season in Antonio Bryant.  Bryant was summarily released by the team today, and the Bungles took a big spoon full of shit and swallowed over $7-million bucks in guaranteed/signing bonus money after the receiver practices just once in an official capacity with the club (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/08/29/bengals-bounce-antonio-bryant/).

Amazingly the Bungles signed Bryant to a 4-year deal worth over $28-million despite the fact that he was hurt coming into this off-season and had only one good season in Tampa Bay (and his career for that matter).  Mikey Boy Brown must have seen the same amazing work ethic in him as he did in Bryant Westbrook and Dan “Big Fatty” Wilkinson while also seeing the potential craptasticness of Laverneous Coles and Gus Frerotte.  Bryant was never healthy enough to do much of anything and entering camp had an injury that seemed as if it would never heel and Bryant didn’t seem in a hurry to help rehab to any extensive degree, making him unavailable even to evaluate.

Like blind squirrels, the Bungles have been able to have a happy (to this point) and productive (to this point) Terrelle Owens fall in their lap therefore cushioning the blow that this “marquee free agent” bust has created.  There is set to be a bit of a log-jam at receiver upon roster decision time as is, and it just got that much easier with Bryant being kicked to the curb, of course richer for his trouble.  Of course the team is too stupid to realize that Bryant probably will re-surface some time this season, probably to wreak havoc on the Bungles on a contender (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/08/29/ifwhen-healthy-interest-in-antonio-bryant-could-be-high/).

The depth chart now though is less hard to decipher Read the rest of this entry »

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NFL: Ocho Fino

Nice…er…dick towel???

• Bungles Court Fool is fined yet again, this time $25-large for Tweeting during Friday’s exhibition game…
• Meanwhile the NFL doesn’t have anything to say about his classy “dick towel”.  That makes sense.

by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan

Cincinnati Bungles receiver Ocho Stinko has once again been fined by the NFL.  Ocho Crapo typically leads the NFL with inane fines and some day will wonder where all his freakin’ money is after he’s done playing and he’s broke.  And, it’s like he doesn’t really doesn’t care about fines, especially ones he can currently pay in his sleep such as $25,000-bucks for breaking the NFL’s code of conduct by Tweeting during last Friday’s meaningless exhibition game against Philadelphia (http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/NFL-fines-Bengals-WR-Chad-Ochocinco-for-Twitter-use-082410).  Seriously NFL?  $25-large for Tweeting during a game?

Some how I find it rather more offensive WHAT Ocho Stinko is Tweeting, like his “Dick Towel” as seen in the picture above.  Look, that’s embarrassing to the league more than the former Chad Johnson feeding his social networking fits like Greg Brewer at…well…out…you know…anywhere.

Speaking of Ocho Stinko though, I do have NFL Jersey’s baring his name for sale as well as all sorts of other NFL players.  That’s right, I have new Reebok EQT jerseys with sewn on numbers and name plates available for sale (at great prices!!!).  If interested please contact me here at the site or at cbusmike@hotmail.com.

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NFL: Good News, Bad News from Bungles camp as Maualuga got off easy, Big Fat Andre HippopattaSmith still out of shape

Rey-Rey.

• The NFL slaps Rey Maualuga on the wrist by fining him game checks, thus he won’t be missing any games for the Bungles due to suspension…
• Meanwhile, Big Fat Andre HippopattaSmith FINALLY returned to the practice field after being on the PUP list but didn’t impress coaches and is STILL over weight and out of shape…
• Gotta love the Bungles don’t ya?

by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan

Well the Bungles caught a break with the NFL when the hammer didn’t fall from the league office on Rey Maualuga.  He’ll be lighter in the wallet and have less dosh around for coffee at his AA meetings, but he won’t miss games.  The NFL fined Maualuga 2-game checks instead of suspending him for any amount of time as a result of his breaking the NFL’s conduct policy following his January arrest for issues with a DUI (http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=Alnl.aDzbAynyq1_B9JJNWc5nYcB?slug=ap-bengals-maualugafined).  That’s good news.

But with the Bungles, there is always a bad yang to any good ying.  News is, that Big Fat Andre HippopattaSmith, last year’s first round bust FINALLY returned to the practice field after being activated from the PUP list.  However, as usual, he has showed up to camp out of shape and over-weight and initially though cleared to play was said to have looked as if  “He hasn’t practiced or worked out at all”  according to his position coach Paul Alexander.  That’s bad news (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/08/17/welcome-back-andre-smith/). Read the rest of this entry »

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NFL: Denver Tebows/Cincinnata Bungles preview

Yep, those are the new logos for the Denver lead Tim Tebow Jesus Gator Horses and the Cincinnata snow faced Bungles.

• Things to watch for during tonight’s Bungles pre-season game including: Big Fat Andre HippapottaSmith, Jesus Tebow, Poor back-up QB play by Cincinnata and tipped balls to Brandon Stokely…
• How many plays does the Bungles fat boy play, will Jesus bless us with awesomeness, how many INT returns for a TD will Jordan Palmer throw tonight and the last time the Shannon Sharpes were in town, Gus Johnson nearly orgasmic over Brandon Stokely…
• Brew and I will only be at this game until half-time so you’ll have to let us know about all this stuff.

by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan

The Atlanta Falcons won their opener 20-10 over Kansas City.  They look like they have talent and depth all around including on the offensive line, at TE and back-up QB.  Meanwhile, the (0-1) Cincinnata Bungles who played last Sunday night in Canton and pretty much stunk up the joint will have to keep answering all those questions as they host the Jesus Tebow lead Denver Shannon Sharpes or Jesus Gator Horses, take your pick.

My question is, will we have a Big Fat Andre HippopattaSmith sighting after last year’s first round bust showed up in camp grossly over-weight at 370lbs and landed himself in fat camp and Coach Marvin Lewis’s dog house.  I’m guessing no, and even if we do, I’m pretty sure it will be limited as Big Fat Andre can’t play in this heat, hell, scratch that, he couldn’t play in last year’s cold either.  Fuck you Andre!

Let’s now turn to the over-under game!
1.)  Over/Under the cheers versus jeers that Jesus Tebow when he walks on water and onto the football field:  I’m guessing that he is summarily booed versus cheered.
2.) Over/Under the number of INT’s returned for TD’s thrown by back-up QB’s J.T. O’Sullivan and Jordan Palmer:  This is tricky, we might see a lot more JT vs. Jordy because the team is seriously poor at back-up QB and the team might want to prove this fact to themselves over and over.  I’ll say if Jordy plays, well I’ll take the over of 2 with the two QB’s combined.
3.) Over/Under the number of last second passes thrown down field in which Brandon Stokely takes a carom of a ball to the house to win the game after the Bungles secondary knocks the ball in the air instead of knocking the pass down: Uh, over!!!

Just one thing though, you’ll have to tell Brew and I all about this stuff, we’ll be outta there by half-time because pre-season games suck having to purchase and attend.

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NFL: Former Bengals star Ickey Woods’ son Jovante dies after asthma attack, is organ donor, as many as 16-lives saved in face of tragedy

• Sad news from Cincinnati, as former Bengals star Ickey Woods’ son Jovante has passed away after an asthma attack…
• Jovante Woods would have been a Junior at Princeton High in Cincinnati, however as an organ donor, he may be able to save as many as 16-lives despite the tragedy…
• Perhaps it’s time we all look into organ/tissue donation???

by Mike Zimmer, Organ Donor

Sad news from Cincinnati where former Cincinnati Bengals star Ickey Woods has lost his son, Jovante “Joe” Woods after the 16-year old died from an asthma attack (http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/AB/20100814/NEWS01/308140012/).

Ickey’s son was slated to be a high school Junior this season and was a player on the Princeton High School squad near Cincinnati.  However, in the wake of the tragedy, the young man was an organ donor and the prospects of his simple selfless act, his life may be able to save as many as 16-other lives through donation of his organs and tissue (http://www.wxix.com/Global/story.asp?S=12981504).

Perhaps in the wake of tragedy like this, we can all take pause.  Consider, if you aren’t already an organ donor, how simple and selfless an act it can possibly be to make sure that you are on the national registry for donation.  I made sure on my driver’s license renewal that I was listed and double checked after hearing this story.  While I don’t know if I were to die that anyone would or could use my liver or black heart, hey, have at them in the case of my untimely demise.  Here you go if you aren’t already listed:
Ohio: http://donatelifeohio.org/
USA: http://organdonor.gov/

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NFL: Big pile of shit, Bungles Andre HippopattaSmith shows up to training camp out of shape at 370lbs.

Bungles 2009 First Round Draft Bust Big Fat Andre HippopattaSmith…out of shape and reportedly weighing in at 370-pounds!!!

• One thought about draft busts and suddenly I thought about how last year’s Bungle-Bust was doing…
• Reports say Big Fat Andre HippopattaSmith is out of shape at camp and weighs over 370-lbs…
• Nice to see that things are already off to a roaring start for this year’s Bungles.  Over-Under on how long it takes either T.O. or Pac-Man Jones to cause a major problem or run afoul of the law???

by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan

I’ve been a Bungles fan since 1981.  I used to love the Bungles no matter what, no matter how bad they got in the 1990′s and how pathetic they were early in the 2000′s.  I started to get jaded as the years went by and saw obvious opportunities for the club to improve and then watched them miss their shot at really competing for a title.  Then, I saw between the lines and noticed that the Bungles organization didn’t really want to win and I’ve started to hate them ever since.  This year’s squad is a team so vile and un-likeable, it’s almost a crime that I paid them money for season tickets again, but I digress.

You see, the Bungles draft guys like Big Fat Andre HippopattaSmith, who no body else in their right mind wanted on their team.  The reason?  Well, these guys are poked, prodded, evaluated, examined and studied (by all teams other than the Bungles that is) and it was discovered that Big Fat Andre had problems.  He was unreliable (suspended before his teams biggest games), a malcontent (did I mention Nick Saban kicked him off the team?), a little bit of a head case (he left the Indianapolis combine and couldn’t be found, his agent in the dark), he was un-trustworthy (he fired and then re-hired an agent the Bungles hate) and oh yeah, he had weight issues and didn’t like to train and be in shape.  Thus, when the Bungles drafted him, he summarily held out, ruining his rookie season and then got hurt after only 4-practices because he was out of shape.

So what does Big Fat Andre do to inspire his team with entering training camp this year?  He shows up grossly out of shape and weighing in at over 370-pounds or perhaps 30-lbs. over his ideal and expected playing weight ( http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/07/31/report-andre-smith-weighs-370/). Read the rest of this entry »

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NFL: Bungles actually get their first rounder signed in time that he might be useful, not complete waste like normal

Bungles first round draft pick and former Oklahoma TE Germaine Gresham.

• Cincinnati actually gets their mistake draft pick into camp on time for a change, now let’s hope he doesn’t get hurt like some of the other ones that showed up on time or late…
• Hopefully this guy wasn’t related and/or had parents that were friends with the coaching staff,  can block, not drop passes, actually make it to the field.

by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan

I think I’ve said all I’m going to say in the preview.  That’s right, this is one of the shortest articles ever.  Read the link instead (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/08/02/bengals-bag-first-round-pick/).

OK, want something then?  Fine, I didn’t like this guy as a pick in the first round, especially when they could have gotten him in the second round.  Sure, sure, he’s got the right pedigree and unlike last year’s bust of a draft pick TE Chase Coffman who admitted he never blocked in college, the coaching staff admitted to picking him as a favor to position coach Jay Hayes being friends with his daddy and affectionately earning the nickname of “Crash Test Dummy” because he got knocked around so badly at practice, he might actually get onto the field.

Yep, Gresham has sooooo much to live up to.

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