NFL: And it begins…T.O. missed his flight to Cincinnati, will be late to presser and training camp

Diva’s always arrive late I guess.

• http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/07/29/terrell-owens-a-late-arrival-to-bengals-camp/

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Babes: New NFL Newsbabe Michelle Beisner is hot

Former Denver Broncos Cheerleader and NFLN’s latest news bunny Michelle Beisner.

• NFL Network is stock-piling hot chicks to be their news bunnies with the sexy Stacey Dales and now Michelle Beisner amongst others…
• Beisner has gone from Denver Broncos cheerleader to lingerie model onto actress and now NFLN bunny.

by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan

Whilst watching NFL Network today, I noticed a new “update” bunny that they’ve signed on.  The latest hottie to join the likes of Stacy Dales and some of the other good looking women at the NFL’s Marquee item.

Michelle Beisner is new to me, but she isn’t new to the scene of sports, previously having worked for ESPN, buried and over-shadowed by the likes of Erin Andrews and shuffled off to do Indy Series Racing Coverage apparently.  But even before she signed on with the World Wide Bore Leader, she has already been a Denver Broncos cheerleader as well as a lingerie model on top of being an wannabe actress.

So enjoy some more pictures of the 2nd hottest chick at NFLN now after the jump and remember to Enjoy! Read the rest of this entry »

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Cat Shit Coffee…No, Really.

Indonesian Civets…eating coffee beans and then shitting them out…for you to drink.

• The freakin’ world is out of ideas and so apparently bored that they’ll drink coffee made from the shit of a cat-like animal…
• No, Really, how freakin’ horrible is the idea of drinking cat shit coffee???
• Has the world gone crazy?!?!?!

by Mike Zimmer, Tea drinker

So, if you put either Baileys or Whiskey into an Irish Coffee, what do you have to put into a cup of coffee that’s made out of cat shit to make it an Indonesian Coffee???  In one of the more disgusting thoughts today (almost completely erasing yesterday’s thoughts of dog rape by a random neighborhood guy), I present you a story about coffee made from the nuts found in the poop of a cat-like creature.  Yes, Cat Shit Coffee (http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2010/07/27/2010-07-27_this_coffee_smells_like__30_cup_of_joe_comes_from_felines_feces.html).

Oh, no, Really.  It’s made from beans found in the shit of cats and apparently is also the most expensive coffee in the world.  But wait, there’s even more!!!  Indonesia, where it came from in the first place, almost banned it because they deemed it too nasty and gross.  This coming from a country made up of mostly Islamic extremists who wipe their asses with their bare left hands and eat insects.

Mmmmmm a little nutty!

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Miley Montana still at it, trying our patience and good judgement. For the last time, Billy Ray, control your daughter (until she is 18).

Jebus Hannah Cyrus…when do you turn 18???

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Todays Moment of Zen: Padres Padre

Pope Benedict.  Funny, I thought his mustache would have been much shorter.  Much.

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NBA: Former Cav, 13-year league vet Lorenzen Wright found shot dead, possible ‘First 48′ Episode featuring Memphis’s finest?

Missing for a couple weeks now, Wright was found dead in some woods outside his hometown of Memphis.

• Former first round “bust”, Wright hung around the NBA for 13-seasons before flaming out with the Cavs a few seasons ago…
• Wright went missing but has now been found dead in his hometown shot perhaps 18-times…
• This would be a perfect case for ‘The First 48′, especially if the rumors about Wright’s ex-wife’s possible involvement are true.

by Mike Zimmer, Hopes Tony Mullins and Caroline Mason are on the case

Sad news out of Memphis, Tennessee, where former Memphis Tigers stand out and 13-year NBA veteran (last with the Cleveland Cavs) was found shot dead a couple of weeks after going missing.  Lorenzen Wright was found shot to death, perhaps up to 18-times in a wooded area in Memphis (http://www.myfoxmemphis.com/dpp/news/local/072810-lorenzen-wright%27s-body-found).

Wright was initially a bit of a bust in the NBA after being selected 7th over-all in the NBA’s silly draft lottery by the L.A. Clippers.  However, while never becoming a stand out or star, he did last 13-seasons in the league and carved a bit of a niche out for himself as a guy who came off the bench as recently as 2007 with the Cavs.

The circumstances of Wright’s death are sketchy and the fact that he went missing for so long and now has been found brutally murdered, while sad are incredibly intriguing.  Of course while it’s probably in bad taste, I’m hoping this is featured on the incredibly awesome show ‘The First 48′. Read the rest of this entry »

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Dog violated by Richmond, Indiana man, neighbors fear other violations. Thanks for this Mr. Lotion.

Poor Pooch.

• I encourage story ideas, but this isn’t exactly what I had in mind…
• Yes, we live in a sick, sick, sick world where people apparently have sex with dogs…even not so far away from where some of us live…
• More, the guys is apparently at large, so lock up your dog.

by Mike Zimmer, Your source for horrible

As always, I am always happy for and often openly encourage any and all suggestions for stories, news or tips to be forwarded to me to be posted to the site.  On a day like this however, I am not so glad to have received this in my in-box.  I’d like to personally thank the guy we call ‘Lotion’ for passing this along and ruining my day.

You see, he sends me this forward about a guy in Richmond, Indiana (via WHIO Channel 7) who apparently raped a dog.  Yep, the dogs owner noticed whimpering coming from his backyard where his Pit-Bull was at and discovered a man assaulting his dog…uh…sexually (http://www.localwireless.com/wap/news/text.jsp?sid=59&nid=17314516&cid=2055&scid=-1&ith=0&title=Top+Stories).

What’s worse than this story is, that the guy is apparently still at large and he was seen out before the assault walking his own German Sheppard.  Even worse than that?  That “Lotion” sent this to me and thought perhaps I’d either find it funny or worth posting.  He’s off laughing somewhere while now I have nightmares.  Thanks for that. 

With caution, I still encourage any and all comers to send me stories, links and ideas.  However, I would appreciate no further dog-rape stories.

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ESPN kills King Douche Story because they love LeDouche and this could hurt their ass-kissing relationship with him

Aren’t you tired of LeDouche loving LeDouche almost as much as ESPN loves LeDouche?  And stop with the stupid hand gesture King Douche!

• ESPN.com has killed a story that included an ESPN Los Angeles reporter allowed access to and following King Douche around a Las Vegas party after his “decision”…
• It’s almost as if ESPN is worried about any possible threat to being able to bend over and kiss LeDouche’s ass or lick his balls…
• This is just another reason why ESPN now sucks and LeDouche is…well…a douche.

by Mike Zimmer, Anti-Association

According to multiple outlets, ESPN killed a story about LeDouche James after it some how put him in a negative light despite the network and their internet publishing wing was granted some access to the King of Douche’s at a Las Vegas party after his “decision”.  The opulent party apparently was full of scantily clad women (if they were clothes at all), lots of pussy, liquor and ass kissers galore.  Suddenly, the story is now missing from ESPN outlets.

According to SportsbyBrooks.com and Barstoolsports.com, they found where the story had been up but ripped down not long after and a lame ass excuse of  “accidentally” posted was issued.  SportsbyBrooks.com can see between the lines (http://www.sportsbybrooks.com/espn-lebron-story-inadvertently-posted-online-28751).  Meanwhile Barstoolsports.com has some of the excerpts from the story (http://boston.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/espn-pulls-down-a-negative-lebron-james-article-because-lebron-james-runs-espn-big-baby-gets-a-shout-out-though/).

Could it be that some schmuck in programming was worried as all get out about not getting further access to kiss LeDouche’s ass in the future if the story was taken out of context, not appreciated or some how pissed off King Douche and his entourage? Read the rest of this entry »

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RIP/OSU/NFL: The Assassin is dead. Jack Tatum has died at age 61

 
Tatum as seen as a Buckeye who played under Woody Hayes and then as one of the Oakland Raiders and NFL’s most feared hitters in the secondary.

• Tough as nails Jack Tatum has died of a massive heart attack at age 61, career as a Buckeye and Raider great renowned for his big hitting and unapologetic ways he went about his business…
• Perhaps one of the most feared defenders in the game of football, Tatum, it’s hard to think that he’s not in the Hall of Fame…
• Rest In Peace Assassin, Buckeye Nation mourns.

by Mike Zimmer, Buckeye

Feared, reviled, respected and tough as nails.  That was Jack Tatum.  They called him (and he liked the moniker and called himself) ‘The Assassin”.  As one of Woody’s Super Soph’s in 1968, Tatum helped Ohio State win the National Title that year.  Drafted by Al Davis and the Oakland Raiders, he quickly became known as one the biggest hitters in the secondary in the NFL.  (http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/sports/stories/2010/07/27/jack-tatum-dies.html)

Tatum earned the name and then embraced it, with a take no prisoners attitude that eventually put him on the wrong side of  NFL lore and became the sad epitaph on most of which I’ve read about him today after his passing at age 61 of a heart attack.

Tatum paralyzed the New England Patriots Darrell Stingley and never quite apologized for it or was able to make amends with the injured receiver.  Most of the rest of his career highlights according to most media outlets were defined by that moment which is terribly unfair. Read the rest of this entry »

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NFL: Fucking T.O.??? Really? Jesus!!!

 
Ocho Stinko and T.O.

• Good Christ, the Bungles sign 74-year old trouble making locker room cancer Terrell Owens to an incentive laden contract that could tear the team apart…
• Meanwhile, the team is thinking of putting horrible free-agent sign Antonio Bryant on the PUP if not cut him out-right eating a portion of the rediculous 4-year $28-million dollar contract they offered him…
• The buffoonery of the Bunlges knows no bounds, and this just re-inforces my thoughts that the Bungles will be a laughing stock this season and fall flat on their face with a bomb of a season.

by Mike Zimmer, Falcons fan

Terrell Owens is washed up.  He’s also a horrible human being and a locker room cancer that can’t bring it any more.  Yet, he’s a misfit toy and the Bungles puppet master Mikey Boy Brown sees something in TO that he thinks he might be able to redeem.  Oh, and he also got a veteran WR for pennies on the dollar that also happens to have big marquee name value.  He’s honestly convinced that this move will be regarded as a positive step forward.  One problem, this isn’t 1999, it’s 2010 and T.O. sucks.

The deal is incentive laden but cheap otherwise.  However, if T.O. shows up prepared to go and actually chase the dollars, it’s rather lucrative.  This could of course back-fire on the Bungles when T.O. goes out and tries and causes scenes on the sidelines and the circus like activity starts to tear the team apart when he decided he’s not getting the ball enough and then the Bungles brass orders him benched when he gets close to said incentive money late in the season.

Oh, but wait, this move is more about what the Bungles could possibly be trying to cover up:  perhaps one of the worst free-agent deals in recent memory in Antonio Bryant who is plagued still by knee problems and won’t see the field anytime soon (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/07/27/with-to-in-the-fold-antonio-bryant-could-be-headed-for-pup-list/). Read the rest of this entry »

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