TWIKB: Owners meeting summit and the June Swoon

Brew from the Son’s Of Anarchy, Rick of the No Talent Ass Clowns, Larry from the Italian Donkeys and Yours Truly of the Last Place UK Native Americans at the recent Owners Summit in the ‘Nati.
Four owners get together in the scout seats at Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati thanks to Aunt Sara (and Lar)…
Much is discussed including Pat’s silence being deafening, daily line-up changes, Brew gave away Todd Helton and that no one wants any of my crappy players pretty much at any bargain basement price…
And no discussion of any smoke or mirrors was had at all.
by Mike Zimmer, Giving all further positive coverage to the Italian Donkeys
Last Thursday (I know, I know, it’s been over a freakin’ week), there was a mini-summit at GABP of four IKBL owners. Marty had secured Aunt Sara’s scout seats caddy corner to home plate for the meeting and had invited a few folks along for the adventure. Not only was the comish invited though, he failed to return any calls to the upstart first place Donkeys owner at said invite.
However, four owners did attend the mini-summit to talk of all sorts of things about the International Kegerator Baseball League and to take in the Braves/Reds on a beautiful Thursday afternoon Business Men’s Special.
Despite the lingering rain that was at one time as big as the size of the state of Indiana on Donkuweather Doppler radar (Larry’s extreme cell phone), the game was only delayed a matter of minutes from the 12:35 start time. Andonce the rain which was Hoosier State in size moved away, the day was a sparkling example of all that is right with June in Cincinnati.

The view from the Scout Seats for the IKBL owners summit thanks to Marty and Aunt Sara.
Despite the urge to collect money from willing folks that pulled up to us with cash in handat the parking lot we finally wound up in well north of GABP in downtown Cincinnati, we did eventually made the game well before first pitch. Brew was already there, buriedin his two cell phones working remotely on some kind of project from his employer and trying to enjoy himself in the Reds undercover scout seat bar. After beers and quickly establishing that we’d soon take advantage of the in-seat service we got right to the heart of the matter: I destroyed Pat in my last comment made on the IKBL site.
While I at first had thought that perhaps I’d gone over the line, stepped across some boundary andhad perhaps ruffled a few feathers, I was informed by the other owners present that there was absolutely nothing that could be said in return from Pat after he gloated that he beat me. What ol’ Al Davis…er…Pat didn’t know was that he’d just pounded his chest after a win over the Bungles. All in attendance decided that perhaps it was the king of all post ever in the history of the IKBL, something that I will proudly but quietly carry with me until I am properly laughing at something more hilarious. I was chuckling a little when I wrote it (also because I was a bit buzzed) but I had no idea it had had such an effect.
Where’s Larry??? Mr. Red Legs even agrees when asked about next year having daily line-up changes. He then blew his nose on my Braves jersey.
Speaking of Larry, his Italian Donkeys are struggling a bit now after having built up a first place lead. They now only lead the league at (8-3) over NTAC, the Eng Sox, Dream Team and S of A all at (7-4). Meanwhile the other end of the league swoons badly.
The Donkeys are still whipping most comers but there is some sign of trouble ahead. Last week Larry was all smiles at his prospects with Brandon Webb and Edinson Volquezsoon to be coming back to help his ailing pitching staff. However that hope was all but dashed this week with Webb more or less being completely shut down and expected to have surgery now while Volquez had a major set back in his rehab and has been shut down until at least after the All Star Break.
The Donkeys are clubbing people to death though as if the league were a bunch of baby seals. And it only helps that the ailing Joey Votto and all his personal problems with depression and anxiety are now back in the line-up for the Reds and the Donkeys. Votto is still 3rd on the Reds with RBI after missing more than a month and will soon join a line-up that has 6, count em 6 guys in double digit homers. Including 54-year old Johnny Freakin’ Damon who has 14 HR and 41 RBI. He also got Vlad back from the DL recently and there are signs that sooner or later Jay Bruce is going to help that batting average with something other than just hitting occasional homers (he has 17 with a .212 average).
Of the talk about official league business, the one thing we were all down with was daily line-up changes andthe need for some kind of augmentation during the year. While the comish casually ignores the issue because he’s not sure how to either spin it to his advantage or manage it from running a crappy owner like Pat out of the league because he doesn’t check his line-up but for once every 3-4-weeks (come on Pat, I know you read this!!! It’s funny!!! Laugh damn it!!!), the need for daily line-up changes is something that has arrived andmust be implemented. The only real thing that would need managing is the vast problems it causes with the pitching rotation and starts. This might reak havoc on the comish in dealing withthe waiver wire. However, there should be a way that even if there is a daily line-up change it’s managed within the roster that you have for the week. In other words, once you have locked in your players for that weeks’ line-up you could only change with who you had on your roster. Couldn’t that be made to work?

Nate McClouth homers off the Reds Jim Maloney to pad their lead in an eventual 7-0 win for the Braves.
Not a word was mentioned to that No Talent Ass Clown and his smoke and mirrors show. Mostly because he drove and he was sitting right next to me and I didn’t want him to be openly annoyed. His team however was a topic of conversation though. His team is a collective of solid contributors and curious sources of points and production.
Case in point, Ben Zobrist. Zoby was a waiver wire guy mostly because he was always the Tampa Bay Rays 10th guy. He was the uber utility and despite moments of power and production was Manager Joe Maddon’s ace in the hole. However, Zobrist is playing every day now that Aki Iwamura went down with injury and he’s tearing it up in his absenceas an everyday player. Zoby is hitting .289 with 15 Homers and 42 RBI for the Rays. Rick and I thought so much of him at one point we wrote him in on our All-Star Ballots noting “because he is awesome”.
Zobristalong with names like some clunker named…Randy Johnson? And Todd Helton? Are not only contributing, they’re helping NTAC win. Throw in San Diego’s HeathBell with 20-saves for a bad Padres squad and you have hidden jems that are doing yeoman work. All this as NTAC have Rual Ibanez on the DL and are using a combination of Kendry Morales, Scott Podsednik, Denard Span and Scott Luke as their 2nd and 3rd OF’s with some regularity.
More? Russell Martin just did hit his first homer of the year recently and Evan Longoria is “struggling” of late at .308 16HR and 61RBI and he can’t give Orlando Hudson away for anything despite a 235-point effort to date.

“No, really, make me an offer, I’m open for business and want to finish ahead of Pat.”
What was firmly established was that no one there wanted any part of the players on my team. This both befuddles and confuses me to some degree as I try anything to get my horrible UK Native Americans out of the basement and finish ahead of Pat. It’s true, Marty’s Donkeys don’t really need anything that I’m selling even Closer Jonathan Pappelbon. Of course that was before Fish closer Matt Lindstrom went down.
Rick isn’t needing anything and despite throwing me an offer for McCann for the O-Dog (Orlando Hudson) he’s not biting on any of my wretched bunch either. Brew was interested for a while, but he insists that he was going to do fine with Ramon Hernandez at Catcher (who he dropped in favor of Yadier Molina???) instead of dealing me Cole Hammels for the Braves backstop.
Brew’s bunch needs something, that’s for sure. His team is mostly bad news right now despite treading water and tied in that group for 2ndplace. With only Matt Cain being a standout on his pitching staff with a (9-1) record and 335-points and Miguel Cabrera being particularly hot right now, his team is a curious bunch. Sure, Dan Uggla is doing his normal job of hitting homers and knocking in guys (14-43) but he’s only batting .222 and has been getting worse.
His pitching staff is a bunch of second tier guys like Trevor Cahill, Corey Feldman, Kenshin Kawakami and Some guy named Mazzaro. The bad news is vast withboth Mets big bats Adrien Beltran andCarlos Delgado on the DL. Meanwhile Jimmy Rollins is just hitting an astonishingly low .210 with 11HR and 38RBI and he’s using Ryan Ludwick regularly in his OF. And we figured out it was Brew who gave away Todd Helton via waivers.
This all opens the door for the likes of Dream Team, Laverne and Curly and the Eng Sox the advantage it would seem. However each of those teams has their own issues andswoons to deal with.
Dream Team aren’t going anywhere but there are signs he’s stagnated a little bit. Sure, Youk is hitting .313 and has 12 HR’s but he’s scuffled of late and some other mashers aren’t exactly tearing it up. Carlos Lee andMatt Holiday bothhave found their way on DT’s bench this week. Lee isn’t bad nor Holiday but neither is distinguishing themselves either (Lee .299 12-43, Holiday .269 8-39). And despite a break out season by Zach Duke in his rotation, the other hopeful aces aren’t doing much, case in point John Lackey and his (2-3) mark and 5.83 ERA.
The Eng Sox are desperate for pitching enough to corner the market on former Braves aces John Smoltz and Tim Hudson who won’t be off the DL until August. Brad Lidge being a complete dog hasn’t helped either. His offense isn’t struggling though, all that talk about Mark Texiera being a bomb in New York is gone isn’t it? He’s ripping it up at .285 20HR and 57RBI. And Stubby is getting offense from other sources including the Giants rookie Pablo Sandoval who San Fran have finally gotten to play regularly helping out at .334 8HR and35RBI. He combined with Nelson Cruz and his 18HR and a bench glut of interchangeable parts including Andre Either (211 pts) and Mark Teahan (157 pts).
Laverne and Curly and Drinky meanwhile are in some serious struggling state right now. Curly is (6-5) but there is trouble afoot. Doc Halladay is hurt, fellow Blue Jay Scott Downs is…down, Daisuke has been put on the shelf and Man Ram is still suspended. All the while Big Papi despite coming to life of late is still only hitting .218 and has only 7 bombs. Oh andformer Cub Kerry Wood? Really bad right now after blowing 3-saves over the weekend in losses by the Tribe to his former team and only has 9-saves for the year for the miserable Indians. On top of that trouble? Johan Santana is pitching his ass off for the most part and the Mets just can’t seem to get any runs for him.
Drinkslinger on the other hand has a good amount of his guns headed in the right direction but can’t get anything going either. He’s still hampered by the fact that A-Ram is on the DL for the Cubs as is Scott Kazmir and Kelvim Escobar for the Rays and Angels. Meanwhile Geo Soto has been HORRIBLE at .227 6-21 on the year and has admitted to blowing blunts over the spring (no worry, there is no suspension coming I’m guessing as this is the MLB). Despite having Albert Pujolswho is crushing with 26 dingers and an amazing 70 RBI on the year thus far he just can’t seem to get a big lift from anyone else. Sure, Matt Kemp is having a good year for a good Dodger ball club (.313 9-40 18SB) and Justin Upton has seemingly arrived (.322 14-45) but guys like Brandon Phillips and Corey Hart are just…so-so. And that is what you could say about just about his entire pitching staff sans Tim Lincecum.

The Braves salvaged one game from the series for a 7-0 win.
At the other end of the standings Docs Vols, NC Necros, Team Cincy and The Army are all stalled at (4-7). Doc’s Vols team is basically Ryan Howard (.253 20-55) and some tough luck pitchers (Javier Volquez5-6, 3.18 ERA and 117K in 99INP for example). With JJ Hardy hitting only .218, Grady Sizemore often hurt and hitting .226 and Carlos Quentin on the DL it’s hard to see them getting well soon.
North Carolina has had some bright spots in the Padres Adrien Gonzalas and his .274 24HR and47RBI, Aaron Hill of the Jays hitting .306 with 16HR and 51RBI, the rest of his teams story is rather poor thus far. C.B. Young has been disappointing again at .202 6HR and 18RBI, Magglio Ordonex has been benched after his 2HR 22RBI go for the Tiggers and Carlos Zambrano has been horrible for Carlos Zambrano at just 77INP and a (4-2) record for the stumbling Cubs.
Team Cincy is missing their Hammer, as Josh Hamilton will be out indefinitely and he can’t seem to get anyone other than Ryan Braun to hit for much (.310 15-50). The good news is that Jose Valverde is back for him now in his bully and Travis Haffner is finally hitting for the Tribe. His season in a nutshell??? Bronson Arroyo as bad as he’s been at times has this line for stats: (8-6) record, 100 hits allowed in 92INP and an ERA of 5.54.
And my team, all those players you don’t want? Well take your pick here and tell me if they can’t help someone…
Jason Bay .281 19-69
VMart .323 12-53
Brian McCann .325 7-30
Carlos Pene .236 22-52
Jim Thome .241 12-38
Or a bully that has 36-saves. Or Mark Buehrle who is (7-2) and has a 3.17ERA in 93INP. All that has me a (3-8) record.
Anyhow…
A great time was had by all and the thank yous have to go out to Marty for snagging Aunt Sara’s tickets for us andproviding us with a great afternoon of fun. It all ended up at a little place in Sycamore Township called Chicken on the run for some post-game food and beers and I’ll tell you what, I know why Cincinnati Bearcats Head Coach Brian Kelly recommends it.

























